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Finding and trusting an inner voice can be a challenge, even for powerful and privilege women. As a theme of today’s edition of “This I Believe”, our series is based on the Edward R. Murrow program of the same name from the 1950s.
Today we hear from Christine Todd Whitman, she's a former governor of New Jersey and she left the EPA at the beginning of the current Bush Administration. Whitman is now president of the Whitman Strategy Group, specializing in energy and environmental issues. With more, here is "This I Believe" series curator independent producer Jay Allison.
Hi Jay!
Hi Sharon!If something we ask of all our essay is that they look inside themselves and find their own internal compass, Christine Whitman did that, and in fact discovered that her belief is in the very activte looking inside. And maybe more than the point, the active listening, so here she is with her essay for "This I Believe".
If I've learned nothing else during the course of my life, I've learned to listen to my inner voice. Everyone has one. We call it different things-our moral compass, a gut feeling following our heart. Whatever we name it, we should always pay attention to it; it makes us who we are.
Nine years ago I was in the second year of my second term as governor of New Jersey. I loved that job, and I was working hard to make what would be my last term due to term limits as productive as my first. Toward the end of that term, a US senate seat opened for New Jersey and I quickly came under intensive pressure to throw my hat into the ring. As soon as I said yes, I knew I should have said no.
Deep down, I knew I didn't want to run for the senate. I could do much more as my state's chief executive than I could in Washington, where I would be just one one-hundred of one half of one third of the federal government. And the idea of appealing to special interest for the money I would have to raise didn't sit well with me.
My inner voice was telling me loud and clear, don't do it, I didn't listen. In the end all it took was one trip to Washington D.C. as a senate candidate to know that I just couldn't see this through, so I dropped out of the race. We turned the money that we had raised, and went back to being governor. My aborted campaign wasn't one of my finer moments, but it reaffirmed my belief in following my inner voice.
A far more personal moment came when my inner voice told me to do something, and I didn't listen. It was the night before my brother's third heart surgery when I visited him in the hospital. After a walk down the hall and a light talk about their children, it was time to leave. As I saw him lying in his hospital bed I had an overwhelming urge to give him a hug and wish him luck. That kind of emotional display was out of character for us and I thought it might tell him I was worried, so I didn't do it. My brother didn't survive the surgery.
As I look back, I know that most of the mistakes I have made have come when I didn't listen to myself, when I didn't trust my instincts. There's so much coming at us everyday, that life can get very confusing. But as I've always told my children, there is only one person with whom you to(/) go to bed every night and get up with every morning, and that's you.
Sometime you stop paying attention to yourself, I believe you need to listen carefully to hear your inner voice, and then you have to do what it says.
That's Christine Todd Whitman with her essay for "This I Believe". As you can imagine, Sharon, after a life in politics, she's accustomed to receiving advice from every corner. But she says she listens to herself much more frequently these days and pays attention to what she hears.
We are hoping that "Tell Me More" listeners will take a moment to listen to their inner convictions, or maybe write them down for our series. So at NPR.org/thisibelieve, there is lots of information and you can read and hear all the essays in our series. For "This I Believe", I'm Jay Allison, back to you Sharon.
Thanks Jay. Jay Allison is co-editor with Dan Gateman, John Gregory and Viki Merrick of the book "This I Believe-the Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women". Again to find out about submitting your essay, visit the "This I Believe" page at NPR.org.
That's our program for today. I'm Sharon Quarterly, and this is "Tell Me More" from NPR news, Michelle Martin returns tomorrow to talk with you more.